I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
