dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize