Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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