please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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