And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
