I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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