After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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