She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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