Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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