i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
