Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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