Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
