Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
