I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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