found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Still dying that you shit outside
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have aggressive nipples.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
