I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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