Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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