I wish I only lived at night.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
