dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
