im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize