wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
