Pappa wants mamma naked
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
be right there i have to get my cape
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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