garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize