I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
