You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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