And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
