bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
