FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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