I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
