It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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