when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
