everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
