Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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