I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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