My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
