How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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