He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
