Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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