The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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