Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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