she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
