yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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