no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize