Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
