she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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