so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize