There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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