the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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