Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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