Got a toothbrush?
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
