I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
