One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
