Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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