Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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