He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
