one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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