You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
