is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
