i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
