Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
