Non-Jews are for practice
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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