Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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