all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
