I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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