it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
