Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
