omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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