I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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