Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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