Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
