No stitches, just platelets and will power
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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