I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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