508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
